Reflections
from Jo Moerman
There have been three men that have made my life experience worth the journey. My husband Rob has been my rock, Dad has been my security and Wazza – until 11 September 2001 - had been my sunshine. Wazza had the ability to light up nearly any moment. He lived a philosophy of love and optimism, which was wrapped in a high expectation of pushing himself to a bigger limit. Nothing for him was ever a problem that couldn’t be solved or at least laughed at. His simple presence in a room was often enough to lift your spirit or allow you to forget for a while any rain that might have been in your life at the time.
His jocularity and craving for a laugh was contagious and you’d often find yourself bouncing sick comments off each other or quoting some stupid line from a movie or add – for some reason Woz had the capacity to stop the same old one liner from ever going cold or wearing off. In my books there are two types of people in your life – one’s that give you energy and one’s that drain it. Woz was a giver of energy. You always left him feeling more energised than when you came and yet he himself seemed to have a bottomless tank. The more energy he gave, the more he seemed to get back.
It’s hard to believe that my sunshine has set. I miss him, I miss his jokes, I miss his warmth. How do you replace your sunshine once it’s gone? I am beginning to realise that my sunshine is turning up in me. I still quote those ridiculous quotes and in my head I still hear his comeback.
I still have moments where I can see his face in my memory and I can hear his voice as clearly as if he was in the room because I realise that while Wazza was alive he seared his sunshine into my soul. It is there for good and I pull it out when I need it. I never actually told Wazza I loved him, we both just knew. Some days I wish I could have him back in person just to tell him in person – he deserved that. The best I can do now is not miss out on telling my rock and my security that I love them and to say to that face that I have stored in my head “thankyou for warming my soul – I loved you”